So she and I are still friends. As a matter of fact, we spoke at great length tonight online and on the phone. Although I don't know what possesses me to become so friendly at really bad times in my life, becoming her friend is one of the smartest things I've ever done. And here is why:
By not giving into all the anger and taking it out on her I gave her no reason to hate me. Did I care? Well... yes. She got to know me. She got to know about my life, my children and how much this man she'd slept with meant to me. She learned the value I had put on my life as a wife and a mother, and most importantly she saw the results of what she had done.
All this was NOT part of a plan. Originally, I had set out to make sure she never did this again to another family. I was going down, but I was taking someone with me. At one point I was so angry that I told my husband I no longer cared if I went to hell, but somebody was going to pay. The pain was too great, and I blamed my husband for turning me into such a hateful monster. Oh, and I tried to beat the shit out of him. No, really, I did. Something about seeing red that makes you feel like the Hulk, and you feel no pain. It's crazy...
I never meant to turn this journal into such a dramatic thing, but at some point, things aren't funny and they just are what they are.. But mostly...
HEY... I'm only human.
No, wait... I'm huwoman. :-)
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