One more thing...

I will be posting updates on everything that's happened since the last time I wrote (when Karen died), but that will probably be tomorrow, or the next day.

Cheers,
G

Adam and Eve and the Apple

Adam and Eve sooooo wanted that Apple...

Hence, I called and ordered a brand new Macbook.  We used to be Apple people, but because back then there was hardly any software made for Macs and all and any attachments that came or went through email were impossible to open to/from a PC, we made the big move to Windows.

But now we're here, in the land of Apples.  And since this place has this strangely strong pull which eventually turns everyone onto healthier food, accustomed to paid parking and sunny days as a birth-given right, we have been lured by the California snake to take The Apple.

And just like Adam and Eve, I, being the woman, will be the first to get one.  Hub said that if I like it and basically (being the geek that I am) can make it better than the PC, he'll switch as well.  And if it doesn't work it will be on me, and I'll be blamed for all that's gone wrong in this wireless, electronic Paradise. 

But if it works, eventually our little Cain and Abel will get Macs too. 

And then who knows?  I'll keep you posted.  It should arrive sometime in the next 3-4 days. 

Love Thy Neighbor

There is one thing I figured out this past year that has really been enlightening.

I've always had difficulty with the whole "Love Thy Neighbor" thing.  I think God took my sense of smell away because I had not been able to really love thy neighbor as long as said neighbor had stinky breath, or bad BO...  It used to really piss me off when people used my phone when they had bad breath because the phone would stink afterwards...  so I would clean it thoroughly until all traces of the offensive aroma were gone. 

I also had difficulty "loving thy neighbor" if said neighbor was either: dorky, boring, loud, obnoxious, gawdy, boisterous, braggy, spitty, snobbish, quiet, too pale, trashy, had bad teeth, bad skin or many other things I had no patience for.  Regardless, I wondered why God would have said to "love thy neighbor" when clearly, and no matter how much I tried, there was no love in my heart for these creatures. 

During a particularly care-free period of my life, however, I did manage to love those neighbors whom I felt "love" for.  Or fell in love with.  On an almost-weekly basis, to be exact.  I wondered if I would ever be able to stop loving so much and just find the one true love of my life, and live without the worry of meeting another lovable neighbor that needed my loving attention.

But then I found:  LOVE DOES NOT START FROM THE INSIDE (our heart, which drives us to do nice things for others), IT STARTS FROM THE OUTSIDE.

I have found that whether I like someone or not, when I do something loving for that person (not as I did during my care-free period, but in the true sense of the word) then the love comes.  It's like a phenomenon, but it really works.  Doing a loving act of kindness for another, but doing it for God's love, solely because He commanded it can be an amazing thing to experience.

Thinking back to Karen, and how I used to try to help her before she died.  She used to thank me and tell me "you don't have to do that for me", so I would tell her it wasn't for her, I was doing it for God.  The love between her and I grew in leaps and bounds in a very short period of time.  Saying "I love you" to one another became a daily necessity, and although I miss her now that she's gone, I am the better for having had that experience of loving someone for God.

Asa side note, I also did find my one true love.  And it is nothing like I ever experienced.  But it is rooted so deep inside of me, I am convinced God planted it. 

Back on,
G

All me

My goo-ness... it's been so incredibly long since I've written...

Part of the reason is that I am not sure how my thoughts will come across on this journal anymore.  I know that in wanting to grow spiritually, I find myself conflicted in things of the past, things I've thought or done... 

But I suppose it's all part of it.  We make mistakes, we lie to ourselves, we worry too much about others' opinions of ourselves.  I've always been concerned with coming across too intense, but I now need to make the daily effort to just be me. 

For a while I kept separate journals, but I'm not sure I have the patience for that, besides, I have to reconcile who I am at various times, be it a mom, a wife, a sinner, or a friend.  All of it is me, whether PMSing or reflectively coming home from Mass feeling peaceful... all me.

Ok, so that being said, I am about to start.  Again.