Didn't *quite* make it to Disney

Went to the new Dr. today and he gave me an ultrasound from a different angle.  Seemingly, this dr. loves to give ultrasounds and is quite an expert at it, SO...

He did find some kind of growth near the baby's head.  He said he wasn't sure what it was and we may not even see it when it aborts, but that there was definitely something wrong... and no, there was no heartbeat.

In an odd way (that I am not sure I makes me feel too good about myself), I felt better.  It just seems so much harder to accept that a pregnancy is finished without a reason...  And I thought that "it's better off this way", as it could have been some horrible deformity, or worse.

I still miss the Dream Baby, and suddenly every pregnant woman in the Los Angeles area seems to be going to all the places I go to, which reallllly sucks.  Furthermore, I saw a teeny new born and that sucked too...

I'm sure I'll get over it.  I just have an aching longing to hold a newborn. 

I should probably volunteer to be a foster mom to newborns or something, maybe that will change my mind...

Who knows?  Party on...

Gabriela

ONLY 1 MORE SHOPPING DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

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