The day after, and the day after that too...

Ok, the rest of the it...  (LOTS OF RAMBLING)

First of all I have tell a short story:  While waiting for my first miscarriage to take place (a few years ago), I received a call from a pastor who prayed with me.  He prayed for a miracle that the pregnancy would continue, but if it was not to be, then that the passing of the baby would be a peaceful moment for me.  Amazingly enough, it was.  It was almost beautiful how it all went down (no pun intended). 

Fast forward to recently.  We got the bad news, and my husband went out of town for 2 weeks.  I remember sort of think-praying that I would like for the miscarriage to wait until my husband returned home.  Then I forgot I had asked for this and had a miserable time waiting, until I had a flashback to my think-prayer and realized what was happening.  My husband got home on Monday morning.  That night I started having pain and contractions and the miscarriage followed when I got up at 3:30 am or so.  So my wish was granted. 

Was it peaceful?  Heck NO.  I should have asked for that too.  As a matter of fact the whole thing was horrible, I almost fainted and was throwing up and all I kept thinking was "my husband came back to this??".  Naked on the bathroom floor with pots, pans and towels all around me, how incredibly unattractive was this picture to welcome him home?  I'm amazed he's still here...

Went to the Dr.'s when we got up a few hours later.  Dr. said to rest that day and try to take some meds he gave me the next day to expell the rest of what was/is still inside me. 

But of course in my life nothing is ever easy or as it seems, and seemingly I now had a bad stomach virus I caught from our son who slept with me the night I miscarried (he had been sleeping with me because he was sick).  YES, he was asking me for a pot to puke in as things were coming out of me.  Someday I will find that very funny, as it was, indeed, good physical comedy.

I spent the day in bed and in pain, lower and upper stomach.  At 1:30am I felt oh-so-much-better, which meant the next day was time for the meds the Dr. had given me.  The sun came up, I took the pill and... "Hello contractions, again!!!"  This went on pretty much all day.  I stayed in bed.  Took the other pill and I think it all finally came out.  Maybe.  I think.  But not sure.

I was so incredibly miserable I wrote about it here and of course something went wrong and it didn't post.

The day after that (Thursday) I was thrilled to be going to my friend's house to celebrate Thanksgiving (a holiday that seems kinda strange to me) with our family.  All was great until just after dinner.  I had been drinking, I ate a bit, and my stomach started hurting like a mother...     THEN I thought I was going to faint.  Had to lie on the couch (yes at my friend's house, with her whole family looking on).  Making the story shorter: I ended up on her daughter's bathroom floor throwing up.

Eventually I re-joined the party.  But here's the kicker:  because today I was in pain again...  and again I had a flashback (to Colorado, almost a year ago) I know what's wrong:  I am starting to develop an ulcer.

I realllly can't wait for this year to end.  I've been sick over most of it and I'm tired of watching life pass me by.  But first the miscarriage has to end.  Sorry for the mental image but if I don't ever see another drop of blood I'll be more than happy.  It was all too much, too sudden and I thought it would never stop.  I couldn't get it to stop.  And like the Energizer bunny it's still going...  Men have no idea.

SO...  I'm still slightly depressed, in pain and all that.  But I'm also incredibly thankful... 

I think you all know why.

Gabriela