The day after, and the day after that too...

Ok, the rest of the it...  (LOTS OF RAMBLING)

First of all I have tell a short story:  While waiting for my first miscarriage to take place (a few years ago), I received a call from a pastor who prayed with me.  He prayed for a miracle that the pregnancy would continue, but if it was not to be, then that the passing of the baby would be a peaceful moment for me.  Amazingly enough, it was.  It was almost beautiful how it all went down (no pun intended). 

Fast forward to recently.  We got the bad news, and my husband went out of town for 2 weeks.  I remember sort of think-praying that I would like for the miscarriage to wait until my husband returned home.  Then I forgot I had asked for this and had a miserable time waiting, until I had a flashback to my think-prayer and realized what was happening.  My husband got home on Monday morning.  That night I started having pain and contractions and the miscarriage followed when I got up at 3:30 am or so.  So my wish was granted. 

Was it peaceful?  Heck NO.  I should have asked for that too.  As a matter of fact the whole thing was horrible, I almost fainted and was throwing up and all I kept thinking was "my husband came back to this??".  Naked on the bathroom floor with pots, pans and towels all around me, how incredibly unattractive was this picture to welcome him home?  I'm amazed he's still here...

Went to the Dr.'s when we got up a few hours later.  Dr. said to rest that day and try to take some meds he gave me the next day to expell the rest of what was/is still inside me. 

But of course in my life nothing is ever easy or as it seems, and seemingly I now had a bad stomach virus I caught from our son who slept with me the night I miscarried (he had been sleeping with me because he was sick).  YES, he was asking me for a pot to puke in as things were coming out of me.  Someday I will find that very funny, as it was, indeed, good physical comedy.

I spent the day in bed and in pain, lower and upper stomach.  At 1:30am I felt oh-so-much-better, which meant the next day was time for the meds the Dr. had given me.  The sun came up, I took the pill and... "Hello contractions, again!!!"  This went on pretty much all day.  I stayed in bed.  Took the other pill and I think it all finally came out.  Maybe.  I think.  But not sure.

I was so incredibly miserable I wrote about it here and of course something went wrong and it didn't post.

The day after that (Thursday) I was thrilled to be going to my friend's house to celebrate Thanksgiving (a holiday that seems kinda strange to me) with our family.  All was great until just after dinner.  I had been drinking, I ate a bit, and my stomach started hurting like a mother...     THEN I thought I was going to faint.  Had to lie on the couch (yes at my friend's house, with her whole family looking on).  Making the story shorter: I ended up on her daughter's bathroom floor throwing up.

Eventually I re-joined the party.  But here's the kicker:  because today I was in pain again...  and again I had a flashback (to Colorado, almost a year ago) I know what's wrong:  I am starting to develop an ulcer.

I realllly can't wait for this year to end.  I've been sick over most of it and I'm tired of watching life pass me by.  But first the miscarriage has to end.  Sorry for the mental image but if I don't ever see another drop of blood I'll be more than happy.  It was all too much, too sudden and I thought it would never stop.  I couldn't get it to stop.  And like the Energizer bunny it's still going...  Men have no idea.

SO...  I'm still slightly depressed, in pain and all that.  But I'm also incredibly thankful... 

I think you all know why.

Gabriela

All I can say...

Things are funny in the virtual world... 

But I find so much solace in reading the comments left on my journal... emails... and we've never even met in person.

I cannot find the right words, except to say that it's all pure and from the heart:  THANK YOU.  And that I hope you guys too someday experience the amount of support and loving care from strangers that I've received...  I'm truly humbled.

I don't think it's appropriate for me to write about anything else here.  I'm so touched, so thankful...  I just want to leave it at that.

Wishing only the best for you huge-hearted, incredibly caring, loving people. 

You gave me a lot to be thankful for.

Gabriela

 

It's done

I had the miscarriage last night. I'm too tired, too sick, too pained to write more...

G

Brief things come to those who wait

We had it all set up.  Nora was coming in at 8am.  A friend's nanny was coming to pick the kids and Nora up at 9:30a to go to the park so my husband and I could be alone.

But this is my life and nothing works out the way I plan it.

I couldn't go to sleep due to a bad headache and nightly fever until about 3:30am.  Not long after I had finally fallen asleep my son complains of a stomach ache and throws up.  Ugh. A couple of hours later he does it again...

About 8:45 Nora calls to tell me traffic is too heavy and she'll be late, nevertheless, she does get here sometime by 9.  At 9:30 or so my husband finally arrives from his trip to the other side of the world.  We all rejoice.  Around 9:45 the nanny shows up and Clara decides to go with her after a small debate (one down, one to go!!).  Nanny tells me that she will probably have her back sometime after 4:30pm.  Oh, the glory.  It seems like after a long wait, I'll finally get some.

The plan now was to wait for our son to go to sleep again (after throwing up a 3rd time) and try running away for a little while to the local motel.

Lunchtime came around and among the many sounds around the house I hear the door.  It's Clara and she's back.  She didn't want to stay away very long... she wanted to be with us... It's now around 1pm.

After waiting forever while exchanging "those looks" with my husband, my daughter tells me that she is going to go in the hot tub.  Alleluia.  This means that she will be occupied for a good while, and our son has, believe it or not, finally gone to sleep.

I let Clara know that mommy and daddy have to go out, to get a thermometer, get some dog food and spend some time alone.  She was not very happy about this, but agreed that it was a good idea and she'd just go in the hot tub. 

We snuck out.  Because time is short and we're both quite desperate, we decide to go to the van, put the back seat down in full-size bed mode and like two teenagers, get it on.  Clara decides to go find us, because she changed her mind, is not going to splash around and notices the van is still parked outside.  And running.  Fortunately for us, we don't have that adventurous streak so the doors were locked and the blinds closed (it's a conversion van, my Disco van).  She goes back in the house, gets really pissed off at Nora (faking ignorance of language she offers no help to Clara, which only pisses her off even more), comes back ouside and knocks on the door. 

I think the uncertainty of what was going on ultimately drove her away...  Maybe a bit of fear, too.  Regardless, it didn't take us very long to consumate our marriage for the umpteenth time and go back in the house.  Disheveled and trembling ever so slightly, I walk up to her and try to convince her that daddy and I had gone for a walk and then stopped to visit the neighbor.  "But now", I continue, "I think you should go with daddy to the store".  She looked at me like I had totally and finally lost my mind in its entirety, but I just had to lie down, I was entirely too shakey.  It was similar to one of those times when you're either too drunk or too sleepy or too high to be persuasive and you can't sound convincing to save your life, and the more I tried to make sense in front of my daughter, the worse it got...  Finally I just said "Look, I already spent alone time with daddy, now it's your turn, right?"  That was good enough.  She knew sharing and taking turns, so it finally made sense.

That was the most I ever wanted something that lasted so short.  But now I hope I can go to sleep without being plagued by nutty sex dreams and wake up like a normal human being instead of a rabid cat in heat.

By the way, no fever today at all, so I think we're good.  The events from earlier must have been instrumental in getting things going as things got going and the miscarriage seems to finally have started...  Never in a million years did I think I would say this, but...

 yay...

Gabriela

 

Update

Last night was nutty.

First, I got a call from a friend of mine who said I should really keep an eye on this fever in case it went up.  Then she called to tell me her mother-in-law was a nurse and she said I should go to the Dr./Hospital immediately.  So I started making plans...  The kids can go spend the night with a neighbor, maybe another neighbor, call Nora to come help, or her sister Matty, called my husband to tell him I was going, all of it.

Then I told my friend I was going to call our Dr. to see what he thought and he pretty much begged me not to go to the ER.  He said if the fever got to 101.4 then I should call him immediately...  He would try to meet me to give me a D&C so I wouldn't have to depend on just anyone to take care of such a sensitive matter...

I felt quite badly for a while, but eventually the fever broke.  I slept as I hadn't in a few days (didn't wake up once during the night), and woke up perfectly fine...  Today I had no fever at all until the afternoon, and now it's just like last night.

So I'm waiting to see if it goes to 101.4.  Hopefully not until sometime after tomorrow morning, as the love of my life arrives at 7:30am.  Plans are already in place for the kids to dissappear from about 9:30 on.

Because between the "possible" miscarriage, then the "definite" miscarriage and what will be the "actual" miscarriage, it's just entirely too long since I've been with my husband, I'm going nuts.  Alltogether it will end up being 3 to 4 months...

Yes, the Dr. did say that having intercourse could give me an infection (if I already don't have one), but I figured I could do it, and then get a D&C.  It seems crazy/irresponsible, I know, but I'm desperately in love and the nightly dreams are killing me...!

I always thought being both a Scorpio and a Latina was a double whammy...  now, I'm at my peak??? 

Gabriela

Feel better...

I got a call from a friend of mine who told me she's leaving her husband and taking their son.  I am a believer in that you can work at falling in love/loving someone and all for the "make it work" attitude, but I just don't see it happening in this situation. 

So I've offered to help.  As a refuge, a haven, a confidant, a cheerleader...  all of the things that would facilitate her path away from the marriage...  I hate feeling like a hypocrite, but (yes I do have a big but) I feel love for my friend and want to help.  This is the only way I know how, as I know to her there is no other option... 

Gabriela

PS:  Baby is *still* not out, but I'm feeling a bit feverish...  maybe it's time to go to the Dr.

358 more shopping days 'til my birthday!!!!   :-)

Miscarriage? What miscarriage???

Today was a sobering day.

I met a British woman (another homeschooler) who was hoping to find new friends for her 7-year-old daughter, so we decided to meet and get the girls together.  This worked fantastically well, the girls got along like they had known each other forever and shared just about everything in common.  Yay.

As the mom and I were talking about our lives in general, she asked me how much was I fearful of my husband's racing.  The conversation kept evolving until she told me she herself had what she called "a close call"...  I was expecting some story about a car accident or similar, when she told me that 3 years ago she had a bout with breast cancer. 

That's when it came down like frozen water on my naked back:  The cancer had returned about a year ago, and had now moved to her bones...  She said it so matter-of-factly that I wasn't sure how to react, or even what she said, really.  She followed it with "the doctors told me I have a 10% chance to live 5 more years".

This woman is a 46-year-old single mom.  Her daughter's father is not involved in the child's life at all (he does pay child support) and would most likely never want her.  The only other person who could take the daughter if anything happened is the grandmother, who's 70 years old... 

The story continued:  She decided to stop all conventional medicine (chemo, etc.) and go the holistic way.  This hasn't made things better but it has kept the cancer from spreading, and from looking at her, one wouldn't know anything was wrong.  But the regimen of showering with Arrowhead water and having to cure her own foods is trying, to say the least.  Following her holistic routine falls nothing short of a full-time job.

Oh, and she does work part-time.  And she has no health insurance (she couldn't get any).

Faster than I could say "I'm so sorry", all that came out of my mouth was "if things turn for the worse, we can probably take your daughter"... 

That was met with a decisive "Oh, I'm not going to die, I know I'm not".  Her resolve, ironically, gave me some of the comfort I wished to give her.  Her resolve was, in essence, her strength, as she refuses to lie down.  She also said she "couldn't" die because of her daughter and thatit just wasn't going to happen.

She's all I've thought about today.  I want to pray for her fervently, I want to do something for her, to honor her courage, to honor her strength... to take the illness away...

In case anyone feels moved to pray for her as well, her name is Karen.

God bless..

Gabriela

Things that life...

"Cosas que la vida te pone adelante,

Nada que se cruze cambiara tu rumbo,

Nunca creerias que ese raro instante

Si bajaba sube, y cambia tu mundo"

Loosely translated:

"Things that life puts in front of you

Nothing that crosses will change your path,

You would have never believed that rare instant,

If it was going down, it now goes up

and it changes your world"

It's my latest favorite song... I wish everyone could hear it, and better yet, understand it...

Still waiting.  At times it seems the baby is going to come out, and then it doesn't.  Fortunately I'm surrounded by a lot of love, and I do have some amazing friendships...  Mostly old  and a couple new, life has certainly improved since we moved to California...

Yesterday I took my kids and my friend's (aka: "Toothpaste Chef" and her brother) to Target.  It was the funniest and most exhausting thing.  Her brother, though, definitely got the award for Best Lines of the night.  I especially loved it when we were discussing dinner ("My mommy says McDonald's is bad for you", "Ok, how about Burger King?" "YES, that's good!!"), and he kept saying "booger" instead of burger, but not in like "Booger King" but as in "My sister wants to eat a booger"...  "She wants cheese on her booger" and "Sometimes I like boogers, but tonight I want chichen nuggets"...  Not an easy conversation to have when you have around-the-clock morning sickness, but funny as shit nevertheless...

Another day gone by.  One less day to wait until my husband comes home...  I can't wait.  The last few months have been so incredibly wonderful between us, these are the times I wish it would last forever.  But then something happens...  "if it was down it goes up, and everything changes..." 

So I'm enjoying it fully and not thinking of anything else.  Even when I miscarry, (hopefully the reason it hasn't happened yet is because it will happen when my husband is with me) I'm sure it will be fairly peaceful.  And in my usual sick way, I want my husband to be here because I believe this should be our experience.  He missed my first miscarriage and I remember wanting him with me so badly...

I miss him, I miss him, God I miss him...  He's been gone too long and needs to come home. 

Four more days.

Gabriela

"How I spent my Birthday" - an essay...

My birthday, my birthday...

A friend of mine came over in the morning for a very nice visit on Saturday.  She had been to the Poker party the night before so we went over the funniest bits from that night..  I love talking to her and we were both just kind of vegging on the couch, which I love to do when shooting the shit with someone... 

Unfortunately when she left she didn't take her son with her and given that I had a hangover -- I wasn't too pleased, but for some reason I didn't find the right slot in our conversation to say no...  Besides, my son loves the boy and I must admit, although rambunctious, he is one of the sweetest.

Outside of the fact that it was definitely "boys vs. girl" day and I had to keep getting up to appease all 3 who were fighting, my daughter came to get me because the bathroom smelled stinky.

It smelled really, really bad.  All the way out to the hallway (of course the stink had to be in my bathroom, not in any of the 3 others, just for the sole fact that it's the one I use...  After looking around I walked towards the shower, and lo and behold, in the landing there was a huge splatter mark on the wall.  It was about 6 inches up.  I followed the sliding trail of drip that followed it towards the floor and there, in all of its disgusting glory was a big pile of doggie diarrhea.  Furthermore, the culprit had stepped in it and walked off (why do my dogs keep doing that??).

Benny.  It was Benny who had obviously eaten something he shouldn't have and quite literally his ass exploded.  Compile to that the morning sickness I'm still having and I was ready to move out.  Fortunately Nora was here and although I tried my hardest to stop her, she cleaned it all up to brand-spankin'-new.

But because my birthday wasn't truly over until midnight, the kids came frantically running to me about an hour or so after the Benny incident saying "the toilet is flooding the bathroom, the toilet is flooding the bathroom!!!"

Sure enough.  And solely because it's mine, it was happening in... my bathroom.  The water was about an inch deep and it kept coming.  The whole bathroom was covered in water, all the way to the cabinets.  My friend's son had used the farthest bathroom away possible (again, probably because it's mine) and the chain had gotten stuck (it's having problems at the moment, that's why the rule is "only Mommy can flush it") so the water kept gushing out.

I announced to the whole neighborhood that playtime was over and we needed to call it a day.  Nora and I cleaned up the water and I proceeded to call my friend, to see if she could come to pick up her son.

As she and I spoke, she told me that he should come home since they had to go to dinner at an upscale restaurant with her parents and the kids to celebrate my friend's 10th anniversary.  As I repeated this to her in that "Oh, you have plans to go to dinner... blah blah?" manner, her son quickly turned to me and with the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen looked up at me and whispered "I want to stay with you".

SUCKER.  It was then and there that I started practically begging my friend to leave him with us.  I had been such a bitch, and those eyes bought me and sold me three times over... or more.  I just couldn't resist.  I felt so bad for having been upset with the kids for something such as flushing a toilet (innocent!) that the fact that it was my birthday no longer mattered, a forgotten thought.  I wanted to hear the kids play again.

So we compromised for another 1/2 an hour of play and then he should leave.  Of course, they all started fighting again and I remembered it was indeed my birthday so it had to be this way, hectic and loud. 

I did receive a lot of phone calls and some great birthday cards in the mail, plus some gifts at the party.  But the most amazing thing was that I received more love from more people than I have in a very long time.  I used to focus mainly on the gift-receiving, but I swear I would rather have the love I felt 100 times over any gift.  I even told my husband I would rather have a killer Poker party than a nice gift.  So that's what we did... and it turned out priceless...

The day kept going as it should, with other unfortunate incidents taking place, but I'm too tired to keep writing.  Rest assured, my birthday did live up to its usual reputation, between the morning sickness and the loudness I was glad when it was over, thankful to have turned 40 and lived to tell about it.

Oh, and one more thing, any and all references to "my" stated above should really read "our" as I do share the bathroomand bedroom with my husband and we are still together...  I just thought it sounded better that way. 

Gabriela

Ow, the bells, the bells!!!

Chech out the time of this entry.

Yep, it's officially November 12th, I'm 40, and I have a headache that is similar to the deafning ringing of Cathedral bells from the distance of about an inch.

I know I've bought something like 20 bottles of Tylenol, but of course I can't find a single one.  I did find some Advil or something in the First Aid kit.  God bless the First Aid kit, because when you have a headache that wakes you up from a deep sleep with deep pain you need a good reliable friend like the First Aid kit. 

Of course, I have another good, reliable friend called my sensical consciousness which said "Shouldn't you stop drinking about now?", but as with all the fools we become when getting enhibriated I didn't think it was talking to me.  I was just happy to be able to drink and not throw up. 

I've written and re-written this, trying to find a point.  I don't think I have one.  I also took so long to write this that the bells are much smaller now, and I think I'm falling asleep.

I shall now try to get some rest.

Gabriela

Didn't *quite* make it to Disney

Went to the new Dr. today and he gave me an ultrasound from a different angle.  Seemingly, this dr. loves to give ultrasounds and is quite an expert at it, SO...

He did find some kind of growth near the baby's head.  He said he wasn't sure what it was and we may not even see it when it aborts, but that there was definitely something wrong... and no, there was no heartbeat.

In an odd way (that I am not sure I makes me feel too good about myself), I felt better.  It just seems so much harder to accept that a pregnancy is finished without a reason...  And I thought that "it's better off this way", as it could have been some horrible deformity, or worse.

I still miss the Dream Baby, and suddenly every pregnant woman in the Los Angeles area seems to be going to all the places I go to, which reallllly sucks.  Furthermore, I saw a teeny new born and that sucked too...

I'm sure I'll get over it.  I just have an aching longing to hold a newborn. 

I should probably volunteer to be a foster mom to newborns or something, maybe that will change my mind...

Who knows?  Party on...

Gabriela

ONLY 1 MORE SHOPPING DAY UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

**We accept personal checks, Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, Money Orders, Cashier's Checks, Stocks, Bonds, Black Money, Argentine Pesos, Yen, Food stamps, Some coupons, NO LIVE STOCK***

**Se habla espanol / Parlais francais, oui, oui!**

A Schmarty Party

Within a few minutes of my last doctor's visit I faced the decision of what to do about my birthday.  Would it be wrong to go ahead and celebrate, with the looming possibility of having a miscarriage during the party?

NO.  And I'm going ahead with my much-looked-forward-to Girls' Poker Party with a Poker Teacher, Full Bar and lots of Munchies (the good ones, too:  shrimp cocktail, gourmet pizzas, cheese/brie/fruit platter).  It may not be the larger 40th celebration my husband wanted to throw, but it is done very much in my style.

For starters, I'm having it the night before my actual birthday.  I want to start with a bang... not end it.  And if it starts that way, it can only get better.  Second, I'm inviting a very small group of friends (8) of which one is due to have a baby any minute, so we're not sure about her.  Oh, and the new neighbor who said she will probably only stop by for a few minutes (she's very shy).  My whole reasoning behind the small group is that I want to be able to carry ONE conversation at a time, that we can all participate in.

Since none of my these friends of mine read this blog (they don't know about it!) I can divulge the divine secrets of my partyhood:  each guest will get a personalized silver box that holds 2 decks of playing cards.  Their initials will be engraved (interlocked) in the front and when you open it, there is a silver-colored heart that is engraved as:  "Gabriela's 40th, November 12, 2005".  Attached to that there will be chocolate cigars and since I will be wearing a tiara, the winner of the night will get a tiara as well and the loser will get a ring that's a little tiara.

I might get some other things too, as doing this so far has been great fun...!  Maybe those "Cool, Wild and Swingin'" CDs or the "Ultra Lounge" one, but then again I'm the music nut, not sure they would appreciate Dean, Frank, Bobby as much as I do.

Oh, and did I mention that I also requested we have a hunky server??  And no, no strippers.  The idea of a hunky server is much more appealing to me.  Originally, I thought that it would be so cool to have a server for each guest, like their own personalized one, to give masagges, foot rubs...  but I think that not only would it get costly, it would also overcrowd the room and I'm not sure the atmosphere would be the same, surrounded by testosterone...

Gabriela

**ONLY 2 1/2 MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY**

** we accept checks, visa, mastercard, american express, discover -- se habla espanol **

Call me simple, call me a masochist, a drama queen, even stupid... 

But nothing has happened for the last 2 days, no spotting, no cramping... nothing.

And today my mind finally went on a holiday and started thinking that maybe the ultrasound machine froze when it caught an image of the baby, that's why the heartbeat didn't show up.  Maybe it's true!  A fluke, a miracle, one of those stories you hear from some strange-name country in eastern Europe or Asia where an embryo with no heartbeat came back to life.  The one that has all the doctors baffled, that all the media go crazy over... 

I've never personally heard of a story equal to this, but I have heard some other crazy stuff.

Would they call him the "miracle baby" or "miracle embryo?".  Would Good Morning America and all the talk shows want to see me, to do live ultrasounds...

That would be quite awful.

But if it does happen... how will I react when I hear the news?  I wonder if it is true and there actually was a heartbeat all along and in 6 months or less I will have the baby I saw in the dream...

Ok, time to stop thinking about it.  Time to stop wondering why nothing's happening, thinking that he just doesn't want to leave me because we bonded.  I must stop feeling so dreamy about it, feeling like a little girl, naive and looking for the fairy tale ending. 

Or maybe I should go to Disney World.

 

The good dream that was bad

I was doing quite well yesterday.  I was doing quite well this morning, too...  

And before I woke up I was having a wonderful dream...

The baby started coming out of me, and it was actually four separate babies.  They were each at a different stage of growth, with the last one being the biggest.  They were all in bubbles, and I was to be extremely careful the bubbles didn't tear because I had to get them to the Hospital.  This was impossible to do, so I kept scooping up the embryos, trying to save as much as I could. 

The last one, the one I understood to be the one I'm actually carrying, was still in his bubble and he was alive...  I looked at him and he opened his eyes, which were crystal blue like my husband's, and he slowly turned his eyes to me.  I remember thinking "maybe I can put him back in and the pregnancy will continue".  Then I smiled at him and he smiled back.  We were bonding.  I could even put my ear to the "bubble" and if I made a loud noise he would answer in that baby squealy voice.  Someone else was with me, I think my husband, and I kept trying to turn the baby within the bubble so he could see his amazing eyes...  We were able to play with him the smiling game, where we would smile, nod our heads to him and he would smile/laugh.

I immediately felt so close to him, this was my baby.  An hour or so after I woke up I longed to go back to sleep so I could see him again.  I missed him terribly and wanted to give him all the love I had been saving for the birth.  It was then I wanted to cry and realized I am not as strong as I thought.   This miscarriage will be a lot harder than my first.  I think it's because now that I've had children, I fully realize their worth, immeasurable and eternal.  I feel bonded to the little thing inside me, and a horrible longing to hold  the ultimate baby that won't be...  At my breaking point the phone rang.  It was one of my best friends in the world, Namratha.  It's still amazing to me how those certain special people in your life know exactly when to call you...  

I'm just going to have to speak to my husband.  I'm going to have to plea my case that I really *do* want another baby... that in my heart of hearts, when I don't let outside matters clutter my brain, having children with him is all I ever really wanted.  

Gabriela

News is bad news

I saw a very small cause for alarm yesterday, so I called my Dr. immediately and went for an ultrasound this morning.

The baby no longer has a heartbeat.

All I have to do now is wait for everything to abort naturally.

I cried hard while at the doctor's but haven't cried since.

That's about all.

Gabriela

Future Iron Chefs of America

Ok, so I watched the stupid Grammys and Kevin Johansen was nowhere.  He didn't win his category either.  I think it was one of those where they only announce certain categories' winners, not all the contenders.

Anyway, today was insane and kind of fun, as always.  There were way too many kids here, but I didn't really feel like dealing with them, so I figured I would let them put together the Halloween gingerbread house that Peyton had brought over.  "As long as Peyton can read the instructions", I thought "they should be ok.  And I'm within earshot if anything should go awry."

In their haste to get things going, the girls put way too much water in the frosting mix, not bothering to get the teaspoon that the recipe called for.  I told them that it was ok, I could probably try to fix it with some flour later. 

As with most children, neither of them trusted what I said and Peyton continued and re-read the instructions to see what else needed to be done.  Since they were mixing and seemed happy I tuned out.

"Toothpaste, we need toothpaste!!", one said, followed by a choir of "yes, toothpaste!!".  I tought they were just being silly/funny, that it was some crazy idea most likely Jackie had come up with.  I told them they didn't need it, laughed and said "you guys are goofy!".

After realizing that the time spent on the mixture of the frosting was longer than it should be, I jumped in.  I started slowly pouring flower into the mix and making it thicker, but I had to use so much flour to make it the right consistency that I decided to have a taste to see how bad it was.

It tasted minty fresh.

Seemingly, Peyton can read, and very well (her mother is a writer and a teaching nut) but was unable to make out what "consistency of" was or meant.  So she took "toothpaste" and assumed that's what the recipe called for.  Following orders, Jackie had snuck into one of the bathrooms and moments later had squeezed about half of the tube into both the black and orange mixes.

To end this tale, all of the pieces that were once to be a magnificent gingerbread house but wouldn't stick together are now in the trash.  I don't think the kids even noticed.  They had abandoned ship long ago and were probably somewhere hiding, sneaking, eating their Halloween loot.

Gabriela

Eight more shopping days 'til my birthday!!!

**Personal checks accepted**  **We take Mastercard, Visa, American Express** **Se Habla Español**

:-P

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

...but a Mercedes isn't a bad pal, either.  My *wonderful* husband is getting me one of the new Mercedes station wagon, the one with 3 rows of seats.  Yay!!  I had wanted a Prius realllllly bad, but I fear we won't have enough room for all of us w/baby and all the gear.  Ok, he's not buying it, but we're leasing one for 3 years.  The deal is just too good to pass up.  So...

The 3 rows are great, so we are able to take the kids and a couple of friends too, plus it has this amazing panoramic moon roof and all these other cool things...  I'm really happy about it.  My husband did point out that this is the first time that my car will actually be nicer than his.

Patiently waiting 'til Monday,

G

No news *is* good news!!

I haven't written, I know, and I should have.  We went for the ultrasound and the baby's heartbeat was strong and everything looked good.  All they found that could have caused the spotting was a cyst.  And judging by the amount of all-day morning sickness I've had, the pregnancy is going strong.  Although the ultrasound was one of those regular non-3-dimensional marvels, I was amazed at one point to be able to see the heartbeat not as a flickering single light but more like 2 pumping ones, right-left-right-left.  *And* we saw the baby move.  I'm so excited.

I'm off my bed rest but trying to be careful regardless, as because of my age (turning 40, remember?) and the cyst, my dr. says I'm a little high risk.  Either that or she just wants to make sure I won't run off to Indiana to have this child...

Ok, I'm watching the Latin Grammys so I can catch a glimpse of Kevin Johansen.  I don't think he'll be performing, but you never know, so I'm stuck.

Later,

G