Hello world -- again

Ok, so I must as well fess up.  I've not written because in a very sudden way, my world turned upside down and stayed that way, blocking the sun and any and all light from coming into view.

In case it's not obvious, I am not a person to keep a lot hidden from the world unless it will do damage to someone outside of just me.  So for the sake of those who keep up with me through my journal, I hit a bump on the road and quickly sunk into a deep depression.  A really deep depression.

Here is what happened:  my stepdaughter will not be returning here to live and that threw me into a massive tail spin.  Without going into details, I had always envisioned myself being the strong one, and being there for my husband if this were to happen and well, it was very much the other way around.  I went weak.  Kids just kill me.

Is there a funny side to this?  Of course!  I really thought I was losing my mind.  Horrible thoughts invaded my brain and I could barely keep awake most of the day.  Barely walking made me out of breath and I was just a zombie, so I really thought I'd finally reached the point of no return.  I called my Dr. to tell him that all the meds were not working, called him in a panic, went to his office, we concocted a new drug-plan, my husband took me to an oriental doctor for acupuncture, started drinking antelope horn crap drink.  Bells, whistles and alarms were going off everywhere.  My husband trying so hard to convince me that "this too shall pass".  And then it came:  the wonderful realization that I had taken my meds backwards.

You see, it's a strange phenomenon, but one that keeps surfacing at the most inopportune times.  When I'm under a lot of stress I do everything backwards, I get lost going places I frequently visit, I develop psycho-sematic ADD and my hair turns blonde (ha ha).

Telling my husband was easy.  But I have yet to hear from my poor doctor since I left him a message that there was actually nothing wrong with the meds but with my brain instead...  I'm not sure he'll ever call me again, actually.  Let's go back in time a bit:  my first and second visits to this particular therapist were nerve-wrecked.  Hence the stress-phenomenon kicked in and I got confused and was late by, oh...  let's just say it was (barely) under one hour.  Now the meds fiasco.  And I've only seen him a total of 4 times... 

Darn, just when I found a doctor I liked...