Indiana Johansson and the Apartment of Doom

 

Yesterday I had to call a few churches in Argentina to try to track down all of the records of the sacraments I've had in the Catholic Church.

One of the churches I contacted was the one where I had my first confirmation.  No matter how hard I've tried, I remember nothing about my confirmation, except that I was excited over the fact that we could pick new names for ourselves if we wanted to.  Oh, and that I picked my mom's best friend to be my Godmother. 

Picking a childhood friend of my mother's seemed like a sure thing at the time.  Someone who had always been close to my mom, someone who had always "been there" for her, someone my mother was thrilled about.  Unfortunately, and because I was merely a child, I never suspected this woman had a lover in the U.S. (she was married). 

This man turned out to be my future step-father, making it so my mother and her friend never spoke again.  Too bad, as this woman was keeping all of our family history in the form of photographs, and an "alleged" fire in her home burned them all to non-existence, thus erasing whatever little memories I had of my life until age 15.  The one I remember the most is a photo of my dad and I kissing, which is my greatest loss. 

Going back to the phone call I made, I couldn't believe how excited I got when the lady in the Church's office found my records.  Since it was an event I had no memory of, it felt so strange.  I kept repeating my name and asking her if she was looking at the same name I was saying.  All I could think was "I was there, in that place and time!".

I have not a single clue why that thought was/is so prominent, but it does give more fuel to the notion I've had lately to go back to Argentina to do some exploring.  There is so much I don't remember, and I dream of being places I used to frequent.  I really would like to go to our old apartment, to see how it feels now that I've grown in length.  How much smaller it will seem?  But mostly, is it still as intimidating as it is in my dreams?

G