Sunshine

(PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS ENTRY, IT IS STILL NOT A GOOD ONE)

Anyway...

I'm still questioning why this had to happen.  I find it hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel, but the sun is shining outside my window and it's telling me that out there there is good...

At some point I'll have to grieve a death that hasn't happened yet  Dr. told me I shouldn't even talk to him on the phone, that the step-dad I always knew is dead already and that I should move on with that thought in mind.  I should probably find some kind of support group, something to let me know that there are others out there dealing with this that would understand what it feels like.  Or even better, someone who has experienced this who could show me the way...

I am feeling feelings I never felt before.  I don't even know how to explain them, what they are or where they come from.  I am even uncomfortable being in the house by myself when the workers are here, which I never ever felt before.  I haven't had any crying fits yet today,

which is a good thing.